Have you ever felt your pain so intensely,

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Have you felt cracks in your faith, or doubted your

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Is there a story you can’t share

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Or, Is there a story you’re reliving, day after day,

without closure or release?

YOU are not alone!

 

I’ve survived sexual molestation, rape, abandonment, a toxic family environment and abusive foster parents.  I used to feel like I had a bright red bull’s-eye target for pain & suffering pinned to my forehead.

No sweet dreams tonight

I laid in bed with my glow worm.  I loved that we were wearing matching night gowns and for a split second wondered if I should have picked out pajama pants for us.  My mom always told my brother and me if anyone ever touches you in your privates, while pointing, or makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, tell her right away.

I didn’t hear anyone come into my room.  I woke up.  I was confused.  I felt fingers.  I was wet.  I looked down and he said,”SHHH.”

I tried calling for my mom but my voice stopped working.  When I was alone again, my voice came back and I yelled for my mom.  I heard this man say, “Something is wrong with your daughter,” to my mom.  My mom called for me and then I felt angry at her.  Why would she make me come to her?  Why would she not rush to me because I am screaming like a crazy child?  This was not my typical behavior.

But I knew why.  She had been drinking from that clear glass bottle that makes her act strange and sometimes scary.  I stood outside my bedroom, held my breath and ran as fast as I could, past the living room where he was and into my mom’s room.

“What’s wrong?” my mom asked.

I was silent for a while and she kept reassuring me that it’s ok and I could tell her.  But she was wrong.  Nothing was ok and it was about to get worse.

As soon as I told her she jumped out of bed and told me to stay in the room.  After the yelling started, I peaked my head out of the door.  I saw the stranger sitting in a chair and he was all tied up.  My mom was standing over him, waving a big knife.

I want to go home

Within hours, I had been molested, watched my mom almost kill a man, went to the hospital and told by police officers that my mom didn’t want me anymore.  Then I was taken to a house where I heard a lady’s voice yell, “I told them I didn’t want those white kids.”

My earlier years were challenging.  My brother and I were in foster care for eight years before we were reunited with our mother.  I felt like I was the parent and my mom was the child throughout my teen years and early adult life.  I raised myself and tried to create a healthy family unit.  Between being surrounded by irresponsible adults and looking for love outside of myself, I developed unhealthy attachments to the people in my life.  For a long time, I put the needs of others before my own because it was “the right thing to do.”  Frequently, I felt drained and empty because I felt like I was failing those I loved.

But there was one moment that forever changed my life.  And in a lot of ways, I believed saved my life!

Spirit comforts all of us

I was 8 years old and racked with sobs outside my first foster home.  I don’t remember what happened but I do remember how I felt.  I felt like my little body was going to break apart from the inside out.  I didn’t know it was possible to feel this kind on physical pain.   Alone, and frightened, I felt completely unwanted.   And—as if specifically designed to heal my pain—a powerful thought came pounding into my head: “Don’t believe it!  It’s not true!  Think about where you want to be—and one day you will be there!” I looked into the sky, filled with an unprecedented sense of calm, and vowed that I would find my way out to a better place—and that when I did, I would bring others along with me.

That epiphany taught me the power of my mind.  I learned that I could evict self-abusive thought patterns and replace them with empowering beliefs. I learned that, no matter what the external circumstances might be, I could see a better future life and feel good on the inside. I discovered that I could become my own healer, with my heart, hands & mind.

Throughout all my challenging times and in beween trying to “fix” my mom and my boyfriends, I continued to hold a vision about what I wanted my future to be.   I also would tell myself, “Every day I’m getting emotionally stronger and would soon walk away from the chaos.”  My biggest issue was feeling like I was leaving those I loved behind.  I knew once I hit “rock bottom” and gained the emotional strength to start saying no and putting myself first, I would begin to walk into the life that I wanted.  This is the life that I am now living. 

Coming Full-Circle

My greatest teacher, however, was not a professional coach or mentor, but my beautiful Autumn Joan—my baby cousin.  I rescued Autumn from a family life of abuse, drugs & alcoholism when she was just over one year old and I was age 24.  I cared for her all on my own and officially adopted her when I was 27.  As a mother, I have truly come full circle—being able to give Autumn Joan a safe and loving childhood which is the most empowering story line of my life.

I have devoted my life to helping women get FIT on a SOUL level—to become their own healers and light source and release their toxic relationships and have a love affair with themselves.  I lead amazing women on a journey of the mind, body and spirit.  I help them explore their essential nature and create critical energetic boundaries so that they can attract the opportunities & relationships they desire—and deserve.

If you’re looking for a confidante who will simultaneously challenge & comfort you while you learn to trust your decisions, master your thoughts, release stress from your body and create a plan for your life, book your appointment here and I’ll meet you there.

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You can also follow me online on Twitter @DanaMallon and Facebook