Embrace Your Emotions

“This being human is a guest house.  Every morning a new arrival.  A joy, a depressionA joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. 

Welcome and entertain them all!  Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably.  He may be clearing you out for some new delight. 

The dark thoughts, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in.  Be grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” -Rumi


Allowing all of your emotions to flow through you is both beautiful and a gift to yourself.  Embracing your hurt and pain gives birth to joy and sets you free!

What do these words by Rumi mean to you?


Your SoulFit Sista,


Last Facebook note from Debbie Ford


Note from Debbie Ford

I first learned of Debbie Ford in June 2011 while on an game drive in Africa.  The topic of “shadow work” was brought up and my marmoset response nudged me to make a mental note of it.

So I did!  When I got home I logged into my favorite online shop for books, Amazon:-)

I ordered, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and The Secret to the Shadow.

They’ve stood on my bookshelf ever since I put them over a year and a half ago:-)

Since my adventure in Africa and learning of Debbie Ford’s work, her work has many times crossed my mind.

“Shadow work,” something about it sounds intriguing to me.

I don’t know much about Debbie and her work but I feel connected to them both.

I was saddened to hear of her passing last Friday.  My heart is able to smile knowing she transitioned into the waiting arms of her ancestors and guardian angels.


If you would like to share your thoughts or prayers for Debbie’s family or your memories and stories about Debbie’s impact on your life, we invite you to visit rememberingdebbieford.com

You can read a letter from her family here. It’s beautiful.

Learn more about Debbie Ford’s work by visiting debbieford.com


This is Debbie Ford’s last Facebook note:

“If you are going to be courageous, an example for all those who are ready to step into their power, then you must be willing to show the world all of who you are.  You must have the guts to throw off the chains of modesty and mediocrity in order to be the light that the world needs.”

Straight from Debbie’s heart to ours!

And it was a much needed reminder for me.

What about you? Are you familiar with Debbie Ford’s work?  If so, how has it helped you in this journey we call life?

Did Debbie’s last Facebook post speak to you?

I am the light


Though many have tried,

No one, nothing can bring me down.

I stand with the light.  I stand on a pedestal of light.

I am the light.


On one hand, I dispose you and on the other,

I see you as innocent.

You are asleep and haven’t awakened yet.

You throw daggers at me.

You don’t see where they land.

Your still asleep.


I stand in the light.  I stand on a pedestal of light.

I am the light.

August 12, 2012

Your SoulFit Sista,


Spirit of a SoulFit Woman- “If” by Rudyard Kipling

 “If” by Rudyard KiplingIf you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, or being hated, don’t give way to hating, and yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise.

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master; If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, and stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much.

If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, and–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

This poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling was shared with me by one of my foster sisters, Lakisha when I was eleven years old. She was many years older than me.  I was having a down moment. Lakisha tried to comfort me but the hurt wouldn’t ease.  She pulled out a box and took out a folded piece of paper and read these words to me.  I didn’t quite get the meaning of the poem at first but as she explained each stanza I began to have a better understanding and I felt better and could feel the depth of the poem. I felt better.

This poem is special to me because from this point on as I faced challenges I would reflect back on these words to lead me towards the life I imagined in my heart.  I have learned that the worst experiences of my life gave birth to the best things in my life.


What do you take away from these words?


Your SoulFit Sista,




10 treats for me on Halloween

Halloween is a holiday with ancient roots that had a much greater meaning than the costume filled holiday that we know today

Around 2,000 years ago, the Celts, who lived in what is now the United Kingdom, Ireland, and northern France, had a festival commemorating the end of the year. Their New Year was November 1, and this festival was called Samhain, pronounced sow-en. The end of their year signaled the end of summer, the end of the harvest season, and the beginning winter.

They believed the night before the New Year, that the wall between the living and the dead was open.

Samhain was considered a magical holiday.

Many families will be taking their little ones trick or treating.  Maybe you will be going to a Halloween party?

Or maybe you will do what I’ll do and go over to a friends house and pass treats out to all the delicious children dressed up for a night of trick or treat!  Our daughters are best friends.  The dads are hitting the streets with our girls and we are dishing out the good stuff:-)

Trick or Treat?  What’s it’s going to be?

Do you trick yourself into believing reasons why you can’t have more fun?

Do you trick yourself into staying quiet when your soul whispers are nudging you to speak up?

Do you trick yourself into saying, “Yes” when inside your head you said, “No?”

Do you trick yourself into rejecting compliments from others?

Do you trick yourself into withholding sexual pleasure from yourself?

Treats for me on Halloween

  1. Embrace my inner darling and dress up!  She’s excited!  We’re both excited!
  2. Help out at Autumn’s class Halloween party!
  3. Play Halloween makeup artist to Autumn and Charlie!
  4. Pass out treats to the kids dressed up for Halloween fun!
  5. Accept and receive compliments!
  6. Enjoy being with my family and friends!
  7. Smile at a stranger!
  8. Write myself a love letter!
  9. Howl at the moon!
  10. Have fun!



For me, Halloween is a day for fun!

What do you love about Halloween?

What tricks have you played on yourself?

What treats will you give yourself?


Your SoulFit Sista,






Develop the Eye of the Tiger

Do you have the Eye of the Tiger?  Those who have achieved great goals, have the Eye of the Tiger.

Did my time, took my chances… went the distance, now I’m back on my feet, just a man and his will to survive.

So many times, it happens too fast, you change your passion for glory. Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past. You must fight just to keep them alive.

Do you have the Eye of the Tiger when it comes to taking the necessary steps to achieve the results you want in all areas of your life?

Develop the Eye of the Tiger and stay focused on the end result.

Don’t let anybody knock you off track!


The idea of giving up can never be considered and you must be willing to do whatever it takes!

If you will commit to develop the Eye of the Tiger, you will become unstoppable!

Your SoulFit Sista,


Embrace “I am enough”

One of the core fears that all human beings face is that we are not enough, and that if we are not enough we will not be loved.

Anyone who experiences a psychological or emotional pain needs to understand that this source of pain, the fear of not being enough, is universal to all human beings.

If you have a tendency to compare yourself unfavorably to others, thinking that they are smarter or more successful or better looking, this is something you need to remember.

The people with whom you compare yourself have the very same fear of not being enough.  It is part of the human condition.  The remedy for this fear is to understand that this pain is universal and to forgive yourself for being human instead of being perfect.

Look yourself in the mirror and say, “I approve of myself.  I love you (fill in your name). I am enough.”

Your soulfit sista,


You Have Unlimited Power Within You!

An Oriental fable tells of the ancient gods trying to decide where to hide the power of the universe so that man would not find it and use it destructively.

One god said, “Let us hide it on top of the highest mountain.” But they decided that man would eventually scale the highest mountain and find this great power.

Another god said, “Let us hide this power at the bottom of the sea.” Again it was decided that man would eventually explore the depths of the sea.

Still a third god suggested, “Let us hide the great power of the universe in the middle of the Earth.” But they realized that man would someday conquer that region, too.


Finally, the wisest god of all said, “I know what to do. Let us hide the great power of the universe within man. He will never think to look for it there!”

According to this old fable, they did hide the power of the universe within man, and it is still there.

“Looks like they were right, so many people never realize that the great power of the universe – the power to destroy or heal, have lack or abundance – lies within them.”

You have unlimited ability to heal your life and experience more joy. Start by being mindful of your words and connect with the love in your heart.

Your soulfit sista,


5 Powerful Ways to Love Yourself Now

 I have always considered myself a loving person.  When I was 11yrs. old, I vowed to myself that I would always have an open heart and be loving towards others.  I was determined not to let all the unpleasant experiences get the best of me and become a sour grape, even though I enjoyed eating them:-)

It wasn’t too long ago when I realized I was being loving towards others but I wasn’t being loving towards myself.  I continually beat myself up. Can you relate?

“I’m not good enough!”

“How could I do that again?”

“I’m stupid!”

“What is wrong with me?”

I did love myself and felt love towards myself.  I was amazed about how long I’ve gone with not expressing self love.  I didn’t even know how to start.  As I learned,  there are many ways to show love towards yourself, I have found these five to be the foundation.  I learned this the hard way and this is my gift to you!

Give yourself permission!

The best gift a woman can give herself to feel free is to give herself permission.  Ask yourself, “What have I been denying myself?  Asking this question gives the energy for answers to serve your higher good.

Don’t dismiss what comes up for you.  If you are like many women, you have been dismissing yourself for far too long.  The biggest way you can give yourself permission is to say, “No.”

Saying, “No,” to someone else is saying, “Yes,” to you!  This creates the space for you to allow yourself to claim your best by giving yourself permission.  When you are in this place you are most alive.

What will you give yourself permission for? Will you start pursuing that dream that you gave up on?  Will you sleep in?  Will you leave that relationship?  Will you allow yourself to try something new and be willing to suck at it?  Will you give yourself permission to be yourself?

Turn love on!

Whatever you do and wherever you go, go there with love. Turning love on is the only way to fulfill your destiny and to help heal the world.  Love takes away all thoughts of destruction, as it brings all things into harmony.

Practice dwelling on the thought of ”divine love.” This will awaken healing powers within you that have gone dormant and turn love on.  Filling your mind with things you love and having a compassionate heart will aid in resolving conflict and offer you supreme protection.  In the end, love wins.

Practice daily gratitude!

Awake each day and be present with the gift that is you! If you haven’t already, adopt the practice of daily gratitude to raise your personal vibration and heal your soul.  Connect with gratitude that dwells within you by seeing yourself with loving eyes.

Before jumping out of bed in the morning, take a few deep breaths and allow gratitude to intertwine with your inner body.  If you become emotional and even cry, don’t resist or think something is wrong.  You have become an expression for   gratitude in your life.  Next, write 10 things you are grateful for in gratitude in your life.  Giving loving attention to the good things in your life brings more pleasant experiences to you!  Every evening thereafter, read your list and try to add ten additional items or experiences to your list.

Embracing an attitude of gratitude keeps you grounded in the present moment.  It allows you to focus on what is good in your life.  It keeps you from the cycle of dwelling on a past that you cannot change and from fearing the unknown of the future that may never come.   Many people find themselves living in this chaotic cycle. The only moment is now. When you find yourself visiting this cycle, you will know this is a clue to return to gratitude.

Forgive yourself!

Taking personal responsibility means that we acknowledge that we create our own reality by how we choose to process the behaviors of others.  Allow yourself the space to see the truth in each perceived hurtful situation.

Whatever people do, think, feel or say about you, don’t take it personally.  They are dealing with their own feelings and beliefs.  They believe a painful story that is not true.   By developing this heightened awareness you set yourself free from resentment, anger, emotional turmoil, ill health and unnecessary suffering.

Be kind to yourself.  You did not build up resentment and anger overnight.   As you begin to allow others to be, do, act and feel with the knowledge that it has nothing to do with you, you forgive effortlessly.   You begin to see that there is really nothing to forgive.

Practice your forgiveness muscle with this daily meditation:  “All that has offended me, I forgive.  Whatever has made me bitter, resentful, unhappy, I forgive.  Within and without, I forgive.  Things past, things present, things future, I forgive.”

Acknowledge yourself!

Yes, I want you to give yourself a pat on the back that is long overdue.  To be honest with you, this use to be the hardest thing for me to do.  I would draw a complete blank..  My inability to acknowledge myself kept me in the cycle of beating myself up and feeling powerless.  I would think about the possibilities.

“What could I acknowledge myself for today?  What could I acknowledge myself for in my life?”

I was devaluing myself and keeping myself in a small place.  I would tell myself, “It’s not a big deal.  I’m just doing the right thing.”

The truth is not everyone breaks the unhealthy family cycles. I acknowledge myself for being drug free and choosing to live a better life.  When I adopted my cousin, I would say, “Anyone would have done it.  I’m just doing the right thing.”  The truth is not everyone would have stepped up.  I acknowledge myself for being brave and stepping up.”

Acknowledgments erode away the dis-empowering affect of negative self-talk- Rhonda Britten

The practice of acknowledging “me” daily has changed my life.  I would not be here writing and you would not be reading this because I would be too busy devaluing what I have to say!

Acknowledgments are all about you.  Please accept this.  You deserve it!  You have put yourself down for far too long.  Please don’t dismiss something because you think it is too small or not good enough.  Write down any new “ah ha” moments, thoughts, awareness’s or behaviors you have. Small steps add up to those huge steps.  Remember, it’s all about building yourself up and connecting with the parts of yourself you have denied.  You will become more “You” and your life will never be the same.

Are you willing to acknowledge even the tiniest step?

Are you willing to acknowledge yourself for reading this?


Your SoulFit Sista,


Are You Facing Adversity? Draw Near to Dragonfly

There is a dragonfly fluttering outside my kitchen window (at this moment) as I sit and write playing catch up in the Ultimate Blog Challenge.   I am so filled will awe and appreciation for  being on the path that  gives life to my purpose here on Earth.  Every time I see a dragonfly, I  am encouraged  and feel acknowledged from the source that feeds us all,  that I am in alignment  with my purpose and with fulfillment of divine  will.

My first experience with dragonfly was in Sedona, Arizona,  in the  spring of 2007. I was taking a much needed time-out for myself.  My mom  had recently passed away, and this led  me on the path to take better  care of myself, and to do the healing work I  currently do.

Before my magical 5-day stay in Sedona, I had never even  heard of a  dragonfly!  And now they were  all around me.  From my first drawing   from a deck of Indian Medicine Cards,   the dragonfly spoke to me.  As I   read dragonfly wisdom, it confirmed my inner truth and helped me to  overcome  adversity in my lifeIn this moment I  could see the gift that was mine — being able to see past the illusions of my  difficult circumstances. I felt more aligned and centered with my  purpose.

The dragonfly  teaches us how to balance emotion and mental clarity  and control.  Dragonfly medicine works in a two-year  cycle.  If the  dragonfly has come into  your life, you can expect change within this  time period.  Dragonfly people need to honor their health by  spending  time outdoors in the sunlight near streams or lakes. The dragonfly also teaches us to see through our own illusions.

The dragonfly is a reminder that when our deeper thoughts rise  to the surface we must pay attention. There  are lessons to be learned.  We are also reminded that what we think is   actually directly proportionate to what we “see on the surface.” In   short, our thoughts (even the deeper ones that we might not be as much  in touch  with as we are with our conscious thoughts) are responsible  for what we see in  our lives — in our physical surroundings.

The dragonfly gives us a very powerful meditation tool. Close your eyes and focus on a thought,  allowing it to rise to the  surface of your mind’s ocean.  Can you see that thought float lightly up  to  the water’s surface?  Now visualize that  thought moving across  that water.

This exercise is useful when we  want to visualize positive outcomes in a situation.  We see the thought of  hope happily moving across an  ocean of peace (peaceful mind) and gliding to a  perfect outcome.

Breaks illusions,
Brings visions of power,
No need to prove it,
Now is the hour!
Know it, believe it,
Great Spirit intercedes,
Feeding you, blessing you,
Filling all your needs.
 When the dragonfly appears, transformation will  begin. 
 At times you  may feel like you  are fire-walking your way through life (dragonflies  are really mini dragons  after all!), and yet what is emerging from  within you is a sense of your own inner power and faith in a Higher  Power that no one can ever take from you!   You are in the  process of coming to know and understand who you truly  are and  connecting with the vast source of power and energy that was given to   you by Spirit at the time your Soul came into being. 
This power has  grown within you as you have  journeyed through space and time.  Now is the time for it to be claimed as your own in this life so  you may step forth renewed as the powerful Soul that you are!
Your SoulFit Sista,